Why is that in traditional families, the eldest daughter is conditioned to live her life for others?

August 21, 2012 by
Filed under: Traditional Rugs 

Question by .: Why is that in traditional families, the eldest daughter is conditioned to live her life for others?
To be an older sister/mother figure to her younger siblings, to be a caretaker to her parents, to be a sacrificial figure, an unappreciated martyr and a person who is more or less a rug that the rest of the family cleans their feet on?

Best answer:

No idea.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!


7 Comments on Why is that in traditional families, the eldest daughter is conditioned to live her life for others?

  1. Blah on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 2:09 am

    The interesting thing is that the oldest daughter always seems to be the most mature…maybe they should just make all the family members live their lives for all the others.

  2. xoxoxo on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 2:27 am

    Tell me about it. I was a first born and it was like that. I think it’s part of the reason I married as young as I did. To get away from that.

  3. Dr. Phartillo on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 2:30 am

    sounds like you have a few issues to iron out. Anger management will give you some positive insight into what part you are playing in all of this.

  4. Supernatural Girl on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 2:48 am

    it never occurred to me that i was conditioned to be like that…but looking back i can see where it makes sense…from the age of 11 i was the one who got my siblings up for school fixed them breakfast and taught the younger ones after i graduated at 16. now i am a mother. and i have 3 sons and only one daughter…she seems to lean towards her maternal instinct too…i cannot see myself allowing her to do my job for me though…i am a stay at home mom where my mother worked outside the home when i was a kid. i was also very mature as a kid and never did anything based only off emotions. i was a very odd child.

  5. Louise C on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 3:41 am

    I don’t know of any families who have daughters like this. Usually in families the older children are expected to keep an eye on the younger ones, which seems quite reasonable to me, but I know of no families who treat their daughters like rugs.

    It is true that it is more often daughters than sons who end up looking after parents in their old age, but it’s not compulsory that I am aware of.

  6. Layla on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 3:50 am

    Turn to the east and turn to the west, turn to the north and the south and you will see that is not true. In my family my kids are raised to look out for each other but not to be each others keepers. I was raised in a family that was not like that at all. I had a friend in school of whom was expected to do that and later on she suffered badly.
    You know something else that person has a choice to say enough is enough. Many do.

  7. cece1012003 on Tue, 21st Aug 2012 4:32 am

    …and the youngest is always the “last chance”, in addition to comparison. “You need to have good grades like your sister/brother” “Your sister/brother was well behaved you should be too”. “Your brother/sister wrecked the car when they were 16, I’m not doing that again”. Need I go on?

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